Telebush

Remember... you chose this job

2009-03-31T17:35:00.002-08:00

Mom wanted me to be an engineer or lawyer... I chose the job that is not behind a desk. And because of that I got into some interesting predicaments this past two weeks.

If I were to plan a suburban ambush I would chose to be in a house on hill. If the attacking enemy had limitations on their fire (ie don't hit children, don't even fire if you might hit children) I would want children in the house. I would make sure the approach to the house is steep and lit just enough that I could see silhouettes of the attacking enemy and the enemy would be looking into bright porch lights. On the sides of the steep driveway I would have even steeper slopes that would be covered in a few feet of snow making them impassable. I would have trees all around so I could hide behind them to flank the enemy as they approached.
So this was our approach to a house where a person was reported to have a gun and was beating his wife. On the approach I knew we were going to be ambushed. I knew as we approached that we were in the middle of a huge kill zone and I knew the only plan to overcome this kill zone was to give an overwhelming amount of fire back and pray some of our rounds hit the bad guy. Walking into it I said to myself "This is the day; this is the day I get shot at and I have to shoot back. Remember this well because the department will be dissecting it bit by bit over the next few months."
No shots were fired that day. Luckily for us the bad guy didn't know we were there until we lit him up and began barking orders; And lucky for us he didn't have a gun at that moment. That night I talked with a friend who was with me on the approach and we both commented on that being the scariest approach we've ever made. A few days later another friend was with us and we talked it over again - All agreed it was the scariest, worst approach we've ever had.

A few days later I here a strange call on the radio. I'm already on a call trying not to break from it but we get so many people calling in about these shots fired I know we will need every body we have.
Skipping over a lot of details I'll say it was a very strange feeling making a shallow penetration in a very large house to get people out while a gunman was holed up in a room... we weren't sure exactly which room, we just knew it was on our floor and towards one end.

My postings might be fewer and farther between; our department will have a new policy soon about online postings so even with my lack of names, places, exact times I'll be making it even more obscure. Heck I might just make this a fictional blog... things that could happen in law enforcement on calls that could happen in Alaska... like I might get called out to a moose stuck between a fence and a building... and I might help take the fence down, and I might help heard the moose out to freedom; I might have, I might not have, but its a call that could happen.

Not much

2009-03-12T14:49:00.002-08:00

Not much for this week either... at least when I hit that truck with my patrol car it was considered a pinning maneuver and I didn't have to go pee in a cup.

Nothing

2009-02-23T11:50:00.002-09:00

I wish I had something good to post about but there just hasn't been much lately. I've been busy running from call to call but nothing real memorable.

I guess I shouldn't say that - Two days ago a Marine who had died in Afghanistan was brought home to rest. Prior to the start of my shift two Officers met him at the airport and provided an escort to the funeral home. I started my shift and quickly cleared a call so I could make it to the funeral home to greet him. Most of the Marines on duty in the police department were present at the funeral home.

On a lighter side though: Normally since the town is divided up with an Officer taking each 'area' any code runs we do are fairly short, lasting only a few minutes before we get to the call. Last night was busy with little calls and a Dispatch advised of a suicide threats with a knife. I had just arrived on a call but hadn't stepped more than five paces from my car so when no one else piped up I offered to go - across town. Luckily at 2130 hrs on a Sunday night there wasn't too much traffic. A trip that would normally have taken 20-25 minutes I completed in just under 10 minutes. I didn't even push it hard. I'm tired of pushing myself and my car to the limit for some of these BS calls. Its just too risky to drive to the max each time someone feels like hurting themselves or there is a "Man Down on the corner of First and Main st". Its always someone looking for attention and some drunk passed out. I'll run the code and I'll push it, but no longer will I push it to the max for those calls.

Two nights ago I did get a call that I pushed it to the max for: It's strange how the mind works. When I was a recruit it was very difficult to pay attention to the call I was working and the radio and everything else. Now I'm finally getting to the point that I can hear my designator get called out while I'm in mid-sentence and I can hear the change in tone of other Officers that indicates something is amiss. I went to a call, took the report and moved down the street to type in a few quick notes before leaving. The guy called Dispatch and asked me to call him back since he had another question. I call the guy back but he doesn't have his hearing aid so I'm yelling into the phone to explain some stuff. While I'm yelling I somehow register that a nearby Officer is going to an arctic entry-way of a nearby bank for a drunk sleeping. I finish the yelling conversation and almost have the notes finished when that Officer requested another unit code. As calm as that Officer is, even as he requested us code, I knew he was fighting. I put the car in gear and tore off, probably to the amusement of some children who were playing in the snow nearby. Another Officer asked where he was and I knew he was at the bank - perhaps I got the name of the bank wrong but it was good enough for that intersection, everyone knew which bank (I think I used the old name of the bank from several years ago). Its an awkward intersection to get around so I cut through a supermarket parking lot, then around the back of the supermarket so I wouldn't have to contest with pedestrians and grandma's backing out. Two other Officers beat me there and there wasn't much so do at that point. But I saw the drunk guys head sticking out and he was still resisting despite three Officers explaining things to him. I dropped down and executed a thigh lock which basically pins the subjects head to the ground and locks him up. They can wiggle arms and legs but the thigh lock keeps their head and torso pinned down removing a lot of the strength from the wiggling arms and legs. Looking back though I was surprised how it registered where he was without even thinking about it when he called out.

One more night and I'll be taking a week off.

Police Station

2009-02-05T13:48:00.002-09:00

Often people will show up at the Police Station thinking they will get to talk to a Police Officer faster than if they called for one from home. I guess some Police Stations have Officers there all the time to talk to these people. We don't. Normally it is the area car that has the Police Station in their beat that has to go back to the station and take the report. Sometimes though it is easier to tell a suspect to go to the Police Station to speak with you instead of driving all around trying to find him. So, last week:
We just finish fallout and I hear an Officer get dispatched to the lobby of the station and wait for another officer for cover; it's my area so I advise I'll take it. I read the call real quick before I walk into the lobby. The dispatch read something like this: Bob Smith may be arriving at the station soon. If he shows up arrest him and bring him to the jail. I'll meet the officer at he jail.
Awesome, another Officer has the Probably Cause (PC) to arrest. I just need to slap on the cuffs and transport.
I walk in, see the guy and cuff. While I'm searching for weapons he nearly falls forward into a wall. I walk him out to my patrol car and the cover Officer leaves. I figure I'll make life a little easier for the other Officer: I start my tape recorder and Mirandize Bob Smith. Bob agrees to answer all my questions. He fully admits he committed the crime we had PC for. He then admits he drank a little bit today. He then shows me his vehicle he used to get to the Police Station. I call for another cover Officer to meet me in the employee parking lot of the police station. When the other Officer arrives we walk Bob Smith into the Police Station because it's snowing outside. The Recruit takes over from there running Bob through the Standardized Field Sobriety Tests. The Recruits FTO is just looking at me wondering how I stopped a DUI at the Police Station.
Bob has been arrested for DUI less than two years ago and he thought he knew how to play the game. He refused to do all the tests. In his mind it sounded great: "I don't do the test therefore I can not fail the test" But on the audio recording it sounds like "I'm a drunk idiot" to the jury. The recruit finally arrested Bob for the DUI and away to jail he went after blowing a .265 BRAC.

Driving

2009-01-28T12:14:00.002-09:00

I've been thinking about the numbers a bit the past few days: At a minimum I drive 150 miles a day in my patrol car. Often I travel over 200 miles in a day but I'll just leave it at 150. I work four days a week and this doesn't include my weekends that I have to go into town for court or to get my vehicle serviced. I have only taken a day off here and there since I started working at the Police Department. So we'll say 150 miles a day, four days a week, 51 weeks a year. 30,600 miles minimum in a year. During that drive time I'm not just getting from home to the coffee shop to the office and back. Often when the roads are so bad no one should be driving I have to be driving (God bless whoever bought rear-wheel drive Crown Vics for our icy roads).
When I drive I'm not listening to my favorite CD (though sometimes I have that radio on). I'm listening to a radio keeping track of where at least four other officers are at. I'm listening to know where people are going and for where I should be going. I'm also looking at a computer reading the call I'm going to, running the names of the people I'm about to visit at that call and running license plates. I'm watching people on the sidewalks and stumbling into the street; I'm watching side streets; I'm watching the vehicles near me and looking for vehicles in places they don't belong. Occasionally I'm doing paperwork for the call I was just at.
Sometimes when I'm driving I'm going a little fast. In the winter I've had my car up to 110 mph... in the summer 120 mph (I was going downhill with a good breeze to my back). I've driven in the suicide lane, up on the sidewalk, the wrong way on streets and backwards for almost half a mile while running code. I've driven across medians and on two occasions I've intentionally collided with two vehicles.
So its not a matter of 'If' I'll get into an unintentional collision; Its a matter of 'when' I'll get into that collision. And the answer is: last week. Oops. Damage was very light on his truck... as for my car, well, it was old. It might have been her time anyways. It sounds like they are going to part it out to fix other cars. Oh, and the important part... nothing injured more than my pride.

Global Warming!?! III

2009-01-14T17:39:00.002-09:00

Matt M, thanks. Hopefully that was just a comment that came across much more dick-like than you intended. I'm pretty confident we'll be looking back and laughing about it over a beer. But even if Global Warming is real I'm not going to worry about until I can grow bananas in my backyard.

Karma

2009-01-14T17:26:00.004-09:00

In Alaska news... well it all happened in Anchorage... The state doesn't allow much in the way of gambling. Bingo and the rippie cards are it. But lotteries are allowed if they benefit some non-profit. Someone put together a lottery with a chunk of the cash going to a group that helps victims of sexual assault. The winner was announced and a news group picked up that the winner was guilty of three different sexual assaults himself. To his benefit he said he'd take $100,000 of the $350,000 and donate it. Still a lot of people were wondering where the karma was.
Yesterday in busy downtown in the middle of the day someone took a tire iron to the winner/sexual predator.
Supposedly the Anchorage Police have the suspect in custody. At the first release of this news it wasn't clear if their suspect was a serious one but since I've read the updated news the suspect made a confession. The sexual predator is fine (in case you had some concern for him).
I just don't understand why this guy is out. The article lists the assaults and it also list some additional charges that were dropped in the plea deal. Sometimes I hate the courts up here. Article

Global Warming!?! II

2009-01-09T11:47:00.004-09:00

Comment from the last post:
"Matt M said...

There is a difference between weather and climate. I could go into this a bit, but I am afraid I would be wasting our time."

I say: Way sound like a dick.

Global Warming is Bullshit. I don't want to mention what town I live in or else I'd link to the articles about the weather... but in short last winter was colder than the average. Last summer was much colder (and wetter) than the average. This winter is much colder than the average. Then nearly the entire US was blanketed with snow over Christmas. Last winter Europe received some very cold weather along with snow.
I strongly believe that humans may try but they fail to affect something as massive as the Earth's climate. Especially when over 100 years of burning coal, forests and trash are nothing compared to one day of volcanic activity.

Global Warming!?!

2009-01-07T13:54:00.002-09:00

Global Warming is Bullshit. Need evidence? Look at Alaska. I have been residing in temperatures that for a high are 0 degrees for the past two or three weeks. Normally the temperature is -20 degrees. We had some warm winds a few days ago that brought it up to 0 degrees. The weather people think this will break on Friday but I've been looking at the maps and I don't think it'll break for at least several more days. I missed work the other day because my truck was so frozen the engine wouldn't start - no it was not the battery. The battery kept cranking the engine but the engine wouldn't turn over and start. Over a hundred dollars to have the truck towed to my house so I could plug it in for eight hours before it finally started.
I'm surprised we haven't had a domestic homicide lately. With the economic troubles, the rampant alcohol problem, the holidays, and then this cold keeping everyone inside having to listen to each other for days on end... Someone has to have been killed; we just need to wait till spring (if it ever comes) to find the body.

Grrrr!

Rant

2008-12-16T12:43:00.002-09:00

This is a bit of a rant; sorry for the cursing.
Two weeks ago I went to a call where the neighbor said people next door were fighting again. I get there and a woman is leaving the residence and she has her back turned towards me. I start talking to her and she avoids looking towards me. Finally I see why: she has two of the worst black eyes I've ever seen. Around her eyes were black, I don't mean a little bruising but BLACK. There was no white to her eyes, it was all blood red. She also smelled of bleach. All this and she didn't want to tell me what happened. Her brother is there helping her load up her stuff and he's taking her to the hospital and then the woman's shelter. She doesn't want to talk to us saying she'll call in the assault later. I want to deal with it now before she forgets to call us. She finally starts talking: boyfriend 'Jones' punched her Friday night (Assault 3rd). A neighbor heard the fight and called the police. Police show up but no one answers the door - its quiet, we don't have enough cause to boot the door. Turns out he was holding her down so she couldn't answer the door (Kidnapping). Early Saturday morning the fighting continues and he punches her in the other eye (Assault 3rd). She calls her brother to pick her up. He comes to the door but no one answers. Again Jones is holding the female down so she can't answer the door (Kidnapping). Sunday they are still arguing and Jones pulls out a bottle with bleach in it and sprays the bleach on her getting some of it in her eyes (Assault 2nd).
I get just enough information from her for a five felony count warrant (Jones left just before we got there). I've been hunting Jones. I've put out wanted posters and everything. I've also been looking for the female because I need to get a better interview with her... I had just enough info for the warrant but I need something better if this goes to court.
I've called, and called, and stop by the residence, left business cards... I try to contact this lady for a better interview. I really cared because she got the shit beat out of her.
Last night at the end of the shift I'm finishing my paperwork and still have my radio in my ear. I here about some lady calling a friend and telling the friend that the lady's boyfriend just cut his wrist downtown on the street. The friend calls us and tells us. Other Officers show up and the lady is my victim I've been trying to contact. The guy with the slit wrist is Jones. Turns out they've been hanging out.
What the hell causes women to continue to stay with a guy that beats the shit out of them? I actually gave a shit about this case and this is what happens? What the fuck? I thought for once I might have a true victim. The more calls I go to the more I realize the 'true victim' is a very very rare thing.
I got into this job because I wanted to help people. Turns out I'm only enabling people to survive to continue making the same fucked up decisions they make. Fuck, Darwin lost again.

Off duty

2008-12-11T00:02:00.003-09:00

I've decided to take a few days off of work to get some home projects completed. As I was getting off of work on my last day though I was having some issues with my patrol car. I didn't want to drive it all the way to my place since I didn't trust it but the shop isn't open when I get off duty at 1am. So I went to the girlfriends house and grabbed her car since she is also off for a few days. I pulled into her driveway, started up her car and waited. Despite the fact that this isn't a great neighborhood its still pretty quiet Monday morning at about 1am. I'm about to start working on my Soduko that I couldn't finish during lunch because of a call. I'm listening to the radio still since I'm in uniform and I can get my car, or hers, someplace quick if it was a hot call.
Keep in mind that dispatch classifies a lot of calls as "Disturbances" and when we arrive we sort it out and call it what it is; I've been to disturbances where neighbors are ticked off about where the snow is being shoveled to (civil problem)... I've been to disturbances were someone was stabbed (Assault, felonious type). I'm listening as the every unit is busy jumping from call to call when suddenly I hear "Be advised; I'm holding a Disturbance with a knife at 123 Main street." Realizing that my girlfriend lives at 124 Main street I look across the street and don't see anything. No units are available to go to the call right away but I advised that I was on-scene. Suddenly I have several units coming my way. The complainant comes out and I recognized him right away - I've dealt with him when he's intoxicated before. He has some lacerations (scratches) on his forearm and his t-shirt has two 'cuts' in it. He tells me that the two Hispanics that live at a nearby house came over and started a fight with him and cut him just a minute ago. I know about the dudes he's referring too... some are in jail and the others were kicked out... they don't live there anymore. Additionally, I had been in the driveway across the street for several minutes.
The first two units arrive ready to track the suspects. I let them know whats up and then a Sergeant arrives. I brief him. A few minutes later the guy who called in this 'Disturbance with a knife' is in handcuffs and enroute to the Psych Hospital for cutting himself.
I've been told is that this guy use to be a Corrections Officer down in the lower-48. Something happened and he's slowly loosing it. Too bad.

DUIs

2008-12-02T14:11:00.003-09:00

Liz and Berserk began a little discussion about DUIs and it was focused around the SFST in cold climates. I started to write a comment back but it turned into more than a comment's worth.

Liz & Berserk, Sorry it took so long to post... I haven't been home in a week because of work. You both have valid points. In Alaska the way we were trained is that you can take them to a warm spot (corner gas station, a police substation, I've used a neighbors garage once but that's because the lady crashed into their driveway). You have to clearly state to them that they are not under arrest at that point - at the same time I don't transport people unless they are in handcuffs which any defense attorney can make a jury believe the defendant was under arrest.
Considering how remote you are Liz you may not have the option of a warm place. At a minimum I would do HGN while they are in the vehicle. If you can do HGN with them out of the vehicle that would be better (you'll see more ungraded clues). In your report you can articulate why you didn't conduct the full SFST, but you also have to articulate well the clues you did see - Totality of circumstances.
A few days ago I was on a dangerous stretch of highway and it was very slick (hence I found him in the ditch). I only conducted HGN and just articulated the danger of the location, weather conditions, the language barrier and all my observations of him (he brac'd .165).
Berserk, In Alaska DUIs are treated seriously by the court and I've seen some of the highest bails set with some of my DUIs. With certain Magistrates it feels like they are getting little more than a cite and detox. The way it is here though they are required to blow into a Datamaster; if they don't blow they are charged with another crime that is basically prema fascia because its all tape recorded. In all I have a minimum of seven forms to fill out plus my whole report. If I do the entire DUI I normally type a report at a minimum two pages single spaced (Good reports will keep us out of court). I wish they would stream line the process but as long as the laws are set up by the ridiculously liberal courts we have my job just becomes that much more.

DUI Trial

2008-11-25T23:05:00.002-09:00

During the academy we spent a some time learning about DUIs (DWI, or the new lingo: OUI). I've heard in some states they are a quick arrests and there isn't much paperwork. In Alaska it is a long process. While on FTO going from initiating the traffic stop to getting your handcuffs back at the jail can take four hours and that is if everything goes well and that is without writing the report. Lately, if it all goes well, I can go from initiating the stop to getting handcuffs back at the jail in about two hours then I have to write the report (about another hour because of all the details). It has become such a cumbersome process that I'm sure some Officers 'miss' DUIs just so they don't have to deal with them.
During the Academy we practice the whole thing and then write a report on it. Then one of the reports is selected to go to trial. Unfortunately for me my report was selected - I had the displeasure of getting up on the stand and testifying. A prosecutor volunteered to come in and work the case and we even had a ruthless defense attorney volunteer to come in. Just about everyone in this town that works any kind of law related job or even reads the newspaper has heard this defense attorney's name before. So with minimal training and no experience I'm on the stand getting the hands on training. Needless to say I was destroyed. I have never been so tense before. For the next several days my back and neck hurt because I was so tense on the stand. Because of that whole experience I had been nervous about DUIs and during FTO I know I was slow to make arrests on DUI because of that experience on the stand. As the FTO process is suppose to do I became more comfortable with it as I gained more experience.
Today I like catching DUI because I know they are a meaningful arrest. I hope that once the offender is caught they use it as a learning experience and don't repeat their error. With a little luck the defendants friends and family also see the error and learn from it too.
One of the last DUI arrests I made on FTO finally went to trial last week. All other DUIs I've arrested have settled out of court or they settle in court at the last minute so this was my first trial. Needless to say I was nervous. I kept having flashbacks to our mock trial in the academy. So Last Wednesday I was on the stand and the Prosecutor was going over the events of that night.
I was suppose to return to the stand the next morning for the cross examine but some stuff happened and it was delayed until Monday. I was able to stress about the case for a few more days while I envisioned being grilled on the stand by the prosecutor. The more times I listened to my audio recording the more errors I realized I made and I was trying to figure out which ones the defense was going to harp upon. Make no mistake though, it was a good arrest and all mistakes aside he was DUI that night and needed to go to jail; the mistakes were in little details, where the devil lays.
Monday morning rolled around too soon with only about four to five hours of sleep because of work the night before. I report to court on time and I march up to the witness stand... Oh, did I mention the case Officer is the FTO I had that everyone dreads? This guy has driven more recruits to tears than any other and I had him for four weeks (I didn't cry).
So the questioning begins. It starts off easy and I'm waiting for him to throw out a few curve balls. We are talking about the processing in general and I used a general term to describe the arrestee 'Defendant'. The attorney said in this case the 'Defendant' has a name. So I start calling him by his name. I forget what the question was and how I phrased the answer but I knew right away the defense regretted my calling him out by name because I drilled home the fact he was very intoxicated that night. A little later the defense is harping on a burp during the observation period... nothing can be in their mouth for fifteen minutes prior to providing a breath sample since mouth alcohol will mess up the reading. If they belch (i.e. something comes up) then we have to restart the observation period. The defendant burped. So I had to articulate to the court what I consider the difference between a belch and a burp. A belch indicated that some fluid comes up in the mouth. I burp is only air. So I'm having to go into unpleasant details about what I saw during that observation period. I summed it up but saying that the defendant made a "polite burp, it was just air and it was quiet. It was not a belch like that from Homer Simpson that one could hear throughout the whole room." Using Homer Simpson as an example got several people to laugh in the court room including the Prosecutor, a few jurors and I think even the Judge. The defense didn't laugh.
I finished my testimony and left. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. While I did get frustrated with some of the questions the defense asked I wasn't attacked like I thought it might be. I went home wondering what the outcome would be as the other witnesses took the stand.
Later that night I got the message that the jury was out for fifty minutes before returning a guilty verdict! I was stoked! How often do Officers use Homer Simpson as an example in court?! And I came out of it with with a guilty verdict on the defendant!

Names

2008-11-22T12:31:00.002-09:00

I finally got the internet up and running and I broke the page... I tried to clear out the McClane for President link and I somehow erased the Police Memorial link and the picture of Eagle Globe and Anchor. I'll fix those when I have a little time - lately I've been busy with work, overtime and court.

Yesterday I returned to work and some of the guys started laughing when I walked in. They showed me a print out of a dispatch from earlier in the day - Turns out I have the same name as some old guy who was having sex with a 14 year old girl. As soon as I read it I gave my best 'but I'm innocent voice' and told the Sergeants "She told me she was 18!". It was good for a few laughs. Later in the night the Girl Who Tolerates Me called me up and harassed me about it. Oh well.

Darwin Wins! 2

2008-11-15T11:40:00.005-09:00

Internet is finally up and working. For now this is what I've got: Darwin struck again and won!
Three guys (it says armed but I don't see their weapons, three on one though...) tried to take a dude's backpack... Dude was a cop in civilian clothing. More photos at EHOWA. I wish there was video of this one.

Broke

2008-11-05T17:50:00.001-09:00

The internet is broke... or my computer. Either way I'm using the computer at my folks house. Stupid internet.

Darwin Wins!

2008-10-25T13:09:00.002-08:00

Darwin finally won one!

I'm just glad the bad guy pointed the gun in the right direction and not at an Officer.

Standards

2008-10-17T00:47:00.002-08:00

Sean posted his own thoughts in response to Roanoke Cop's piece.

Less than a year cut loose and I've already been called every name in the book and been reviewed by Internal Affairs. Lucky for me the town I work in stands by their officers. Everything I did was justified and I was quite nice in my actions; but, people will raise a stink because they think they are the exception: deal with it or look for other employment.

Updates

2008-10-14T14:28:00.003-08:00

I've been slacking in the updates department (among many other departments). I got a message a long time ago about adding Lagniappes's Lair. Then I got distracted by shiny things and didn't get things updated. So I'm sorry about the delay, the link is long overdue but he's finally added to the sidebar.
Also, somehow in the last month I've discovered Sean's blog I Aim to Misbehave so he's also added under Cop blogs.
So the long overdue updates are done... I hope.

Bad Math

2008-10-14T14:04:00.002-08:00

A mom is angry at me now: Take a road that is barely lit, a bicycle that only has the peddles as the rear reflectors, a kid that is wearing dark clothing, and that it is the first heavy snow fall of the season. Now mix in a car that is doing about 40 mph on a 45 mph road... oh and the kid doesn't look before he crosses the street. All that equals a recipe for disaster. So after the kid bounces off the windshield and lands on the pavement other people start first aid. I finally get there (MOVE TO THE RIGHT WHEN AN EMERGENCY VEHICLE IS BEHIND YOU!!!) the kid is talking and tells me his side of it. Mom shows up and is hysterical. The kid calms mom down as he's on the pavement bleeding. They go off to the hospital and I talk with the driver and a witness.
I also recall earlier in the night seeing a kid on a bicycle crossing the highway (we are on a frontage road) in about the same spot but the kid was so far ahead of me on the highway that by the time I get there he is gone in the woods.
So I combine all the facts that I am given and I figure its the kids fault.
A few days later Mom calls me to ask me a few questions which I politely answer. Mom then goes off about the shabby investigation I did and how the other driver should have been arrested for DUI (I did HGN just to be sure: stone cold sober). Mom assures me I will hear about it from my chain of command and from her lawyer. Oh, and her cousin is the former chief of police in this town but he hasn't heard of me (he was here three or four years ago, I've been here two years... go figure).
Oh well. Later that shift I had the displeasure of going to investigate a ten year old and his friend sexually assault twelve and fourteen year old girls.

Problem Solving

2008-09-30T12:15:00.002-08:00

I like answering calls in way that dispatch can't figure out. One night while I was on mids I responding to a EDP (Emotionally Disturbed Person) who was yelling and creating a ruckus. I closed it out with a 'red tag' which is a solution to a parking problem. In the call log dispatch noted that they would ask me to clarify that one.

So last night I respond with another officer to an area near the college for a report of some five people in a physical fight in the intersection. Just before we arrive they took off in cars. I get there and advise I'll be talking with the caller. He hands me a cell phone on the fighters dropped. So I responded to a physical fight and I close it by asking for case numbers for found property. Normally when I find cell phones I'll look home 'Home', 'Mom', 'Honey'... on this one the screen was broke.
In the brief two minute span I had the phone turned on it received three calls. Everyone asked for a dude by the name of 'Edge' (names changed to protect the guilty). I wanted to get this phone back to 'Edge', and I wanted to hear about this assault, so I told all of them that 'Edge' got into a fight, got scared and ran away dropping his cell phone. If 'Edge' wants his cell phone back he can pick it up from the police station.
Thirty minutes later dispatch is asking who told "Jamal Jackson" to pick up his cell phone from the police station. I piped up and head to the station. Dispatch tells me he'll be there in about 20 minutes and he wants to talk to me, and I know what its about *insert mean look here*. I laughed but I'm not stupid; I checked his guys record. He does have some history and he's on probation. I told a buddy when he frees up to head over to me 'cause this might be fun and then I call his P.O. P.O. said to have him check in by 9am.
'Edge' shows up with some friends. But I have a friend too that likes to hold his baton under his arm (out of his hands) in a very menacing way. With the cell phone obviously hanging out my pocket I ask him about his fight. He gives me some B.S. story. So I asked my usual question: "You do understand that this story makes no sense, right?" He gets a little huffy and tries to explain it again. I told him "What ever, here's you cell phone. Meet your P.O. by 9am." Ahhhh, the look of disappointment on the little banger wanna-be's.

Quote of the week

2008-09-28T12:35:00.002-08:00

"I have these handcuffs on, and, you know, they make me feel like I have handcuffs on."
- Another citizen who would not follow instructions.

Another thing that has amazed me about this job: I grew up taking all of the politically correct classes that teach about how racist white people are and how we have wronged every other race of people. Every other race loves us and each other and white people are the racist ones. I've lost track of the number of times I've been called a 'fucking white man' by intoxicated native people. They rant about how I personally came to Alaska and raped the land and robbed them of their lifestyle. Normally at that point I apologize for interrupting their lifestyle of drinking in the alleys but I don't want them to freeze to death so I'm helping them so they can continue to live their lifestyle.

I should relabel this blog to "Fighting Darwin".

First

2008-09-10T12:14:00.002-08:00

Finally I had my first eluding this week and I got to initiate it. Dispatched advised of a reckless vehicle on the other side of town from me but I figured since it was heading south and I could parallel it and then maybe it would cut in towards me. Then dispatch advised that it was stolen and that made the game more interesting. So I hurried south listening to other units closer to the locate not find it. They had covered that road really well so I guessed he got off at some point. So to get from His Street to My Street he would have to take a befuddled path and he could have done it much easier taking another route but hey, he stole a suburban so he's probably not the brightest anyways. Low and behold he made it from His St to My St and I called it out and got turned around. I followed behind him and a lane over not lighting him up because I wanted to get more units into the area. He made a sudden turn into a trailer park and when I followed from the second lane over he knew it was game on. He rear-ended the vehicle in front of him to push him up and then made a quick left in the trailer park running for the other entrance. I kept dispatch advised and we got a bunch of Officers on scene. After we bumped enough police cars into the Suburban we had it pinned. Of course the driver was drunk so he had five charges on him (two were felonies). This will be a few more on his rap-sheet that is already two pages long.

TIP V

2008-09-06T10:16:00.002-08:00

Carry dog treats. It didn't work out so well yesterday but I learned carrying a few doggy treats can help.

And just to recap a Tip to the civilians. If the Police are behind you - MOVE OVER!!! If you can't move over do not go three miles an hour slower than the limit to prove to us what a good driver you are!

Swing shift is awesome... it was busy all night so it went by quickly. I just can't stand the traffic for the first four hours. My voice is hoarse now because I was yelling at all the other drivers.

Work

2008-09-05T10:03:00.004-08:00

Sorry I haven't updated more... I got distracted by the internet porn... for the past two weeks.
Ok, really there hasn't been much to post about.
One interesting thing to note is how much you get to learn people's tone on the radio. The slightest change in their voice can tell you how the call is going a lot more than what they actually say. So four months of getting use to the tones of each of the officers on my shift and I'll be moving to a new shift. Today I start swing shift. A whole new crew to work with.

Last week I heard a coworker say he was heading to the magistrate's office with his arrestee; then he tacked on that he would need a cover unit. All this happened on another radio channel (different part of town) but since I was near the court house I started drifting that way. I get there and the guy is billigerantly drunk. I sit him down in the magistrate's office and he proceeds to cuss me out, cuss out the other officer and to top it off he cusses out the Magistrate. He now gets to sit outside for the bail hearing. So I'm babysitting him in the hallway and he continues to call me a 'fucking white man', tells me he can kick my ass and challenges me to a fight (Magistrate was able to hear it all from his office). In the end the guy got an additional Disorderly Conduct charge along with the original one. He also got one of the highest bails I've seen for an DV assault charge.

Another night I was working my usual area and I hear a drunk driver eluding coming my way on another channel (border between the two areas of town). Dispatch asks me on my channel if I hear them and I calmly advise yes I do. I ran up to the car I had already stopped, gave him his paperwork back and told him to get it fixed and get out of here. I start heading to where this drunk driver is coming from. I hear the description of the vehicle but the initiating officer hasn't been able to get close enough for a plate. I get the vehicle in site, flip around and get on the radio. I give all the information and he pulled over. Another officer blocks in the front and I make a normal DUI stop on him. Now I have my normal questions I work through and can often get a person to admit to the DUI before I even perform the field tests but the Sgt jumps in with his questions and sets things a little off whack. Luckily this guy is so blitzed he has no idea what is going on. At 18 he already had a felony drug charge and now he's got a DUI (and his mom's car impounded). Later another Sgt spoke with me and complimented me on how I keep calm and I'm very clear on the radio.

Finally, I'm getting a little tired of having to pick up so many drunks off of the street and take them to the drunk tank. So I had one loaded in my car and I pull up to the drunk tank. I open the back door, wake him and tell him to get out. He goes back to sleep so I stir him some more and tell him to get out again. He sits there trying to comprehend where he's at and what is happening. I reached in to grab him and assist him in getting out of my car when he reacted faster than a sober person could have... he lunged back deeper into my car. I realize this little guy has been beat once or twice while living on the street so I try to reason with him again; "Get out of my car or I'm charging you with trespassing". Alright, perhaps it wasn't reasoning with him... it was just to confuse him more because he took about 5 seconds to ponder that option before I interrupted him and dragged him out the car.

It's still a lot of fun and I can't wait to get back to work this afternoon. Hopefully there will be something interesting to post about.

2008-08-19T23:07:00.002-08:00

So there seems to be a little concern about my last post. I even got a phone call about it. I'm fine. At least I was fine when it happened. Here's what happened:
Two girls die in a shitty situation. I was first on scene. At first I don't feel for them or the family. In fact, I got some news about the family that made me even less sympathetic. I continued work having another fun night working.
The next day I respond (this time second on scene but on the heels of first) and I tend to an adult who eluded an officer while drunk on a motorcycle. With the info we had at the time there was no pursuit... turns out he sucks at eluding because a little further down the road we get a call for a single motorcycle crash. So I'm second on scene and I attempt contact with the motorcyclist who is now laying in a pile on the pavement. The helmet is the only that prevented him from being DRT (Dead Right There). I wave medics in figuring this guy is an organ donor. At the end of the shift I called the hospital to check his status and it turns out he's fine, sedated, and they plan to remove the ventilator later in the day and he'll be fine.
So let's get this straight: Two girls have shitty parents that don't teach them well and they die. A guy gets drunk on his own, jumps on a motorcycle, eludes police, crashes at about 90-100mph and he'll be fine. WTF?

I'm fine. I still love this job. I can't wait to get back to it after my weekend. Just some days you see a certain level of unjust that ticks you off. So it goes. I'm sure it won't be the last by a long shot.

On another note: I'm trying acupuncture tomorrow. I'm hoping it'll relieve some of the pain in my shoulder... we'll see. In any case a friend spoke very highly of this place so I'm anxious to try it. I'll let you know how it goes.

CPR

2008-08-16T11:29:00.002-08:00

Ever since I was in the Boy Scouts I have taken several CPR classes. During several of the classes the instructor mentioned how during chest compressions you will probably brake bones. This morning as much as I was compressing that 12 year olds chest I couldn't brake her bones.

Gangs

2008-08-15T19:48:00.002-08:00

Last night I stop a vehicle and contact the occupants. In short: they are idiots. Neither of them had a drivers license and their story didn't make sense for the day time and it certainly didn't make sense at 3am. I ask dispatch to call the owner of the vehicle and see if they know where their car is. Owner said 'driveway' so now I have a stolen vehicle before its even known to be stolen. I hook both occupants and take them to jail for Vehicle Theft... Both? Yes they both were charged. The passenger stole the keys but since he can not drive a stick at the age of 18 he gave his friend the keys so he could drive. - Here is the first clue that they are idiots, I double checked and... yup... it's an automatic.
At the jail the Corrections officers find a baby blue bandanna in the other guys pocket. I ask my guy if that was a baby blue bandanna I felt in his pocket... yup. So I start asking him about his gang. Anybody that knows me knows I hate gangs... so I make fun of this guy. I piss him off enough he starts talking about his 'gang'. I asked what his gang sign was and he said he didn't have one... so I make fun of the gang for not having a gang sign. Eventually he shuts up but I don't - I'm having too much fun. So I keep going. Eventually I look at him and say "You just want to go to sleep don't you? You wish whitey would shut the F(*^ up so you could get some sleep." He laughed a little at that but I was running out of material to annoy him with. Luckily it was his turn to get checked into the jail so we didn't have to put up with each other any more.

Burning paper bag of....

2008-08-10T17:36:00.002-08:00

Dispatch: Telebush, respond to 123 main st for a resident who said her door bell rung and then found a burning paper bag of... actually, its all in the call.

Me: Copy. And I sent a message to dispatch asking why she didn't want to say "poop" on the air.

I got to the call and it was a new US resident that thought someone was making threats against her. I had to explain that it was a stupid high school prank. Then I had to explain what a prank was.

Later in the night a buddy was dispatched to a 'VID' - Vehicle In Distress, normally a broken down vehicle on the side of the road or a vehicle in the ditch and on Days its a one person call. But its summer time, on a weekend, at about 0100 hrs... I figured its something more so I attached my self and got there before my buddy. On arrival I gave dispatch the license plate of the vehicle that is well over the edge of the road and in the ditch. While I'm talking with and smelling the driver dispatch radios to me that the owner of the vehicle has three previous DUI's. I radio back "Copy; looks like we're working on another." After a few tests its click click and off to the clink. Sometimes they make the job easy.

Simple Rules

2008-07-25T19:49:00.002-08:00

There are some simple rules in life. I will go over just a few of the rules in one category now:
1. Don't drive drunk.
2. Should you still chose to drive drunk do not pull into the neighborhood and attempt to park right next to a group of officers working a crime scene because your trailer 'is just right there.'
3. Should you still ignore the first two rules do not crash into another vehicle while you attempt to park and push it three feet.
4. Finally, when the officer puts his spot light on you for the collision you just caused do not look over at him and give him the middle finger.

Simple rules people.

Dazed

2008-07-16T21:00:00.002-08:00

Where have I been the past month? In a daze. I'm starting to get tired of working Mids. During the week I only sleep 4-5 hours a night so once the weekend comes around I sleep the whole time... wasting my weekend. My body is just not adjusting to the schedule so I'll be praying for a new shift next cycle; heck, I'll go back to Days just to get off Mids. The attitude of some of the other officers on Mids is interesting though; they think working Mids is the only shift real cops should work. Any cop that works any other shift, especially Days, is a lesser cop. I think each shift has its own set of challenges. Additionally, I'm getting tired of not seeing human beings during my shift. Everyone I meet each night is drunk and/or high. I've noticed that I'm loosing hope for society (not that there was much to begin with) the more I deal with this shift. I'm spending too much money at stores but its because I go to stores during the day to see actual people and have human interactions.

On an entertainment note though: I discovered the show Weeds. I've been watching the episodes through Netflix and I'm addicted.

Physics

2008-06-24T11:20:00.003-08:00

I've been interested in physics but I haven't been able to get into the real heavy stuff because well... my parents dropped me on my head... hard... a lot.

But this week showed an awesome lesson in physics. Motorcycle crashes are interesting because the riders travel without restraint. Add in what a helmeted passenger does against the driver without a helmet in a collision. And imagine driving you truck and suddenly finding a new passenger in the back seat.

Crazy.

Taze

2008-06-17T13:20:00.003-08:00

I haven't seen a TASER used on the street yet. I rode the lightning in the academy and I watched a classmate take a shot in the leg so I know they are effective. This week a buddy made a traffic stop and when he ran the driver it was learned that the driver normally carries a weapon in the center console. I get over there to cover him as he's writing the tickets and right behind me was a third officer who just finished the TASER training. Driver gets antsy and gets out of the vehicle and yells at us to hurry it up. I'm walking towards him telling him to get back in the vehicle and getting myself ready for this fight that I know is coming. The third officer is behind me and as I approach the driver I see a red dot show up on his chest. I took a huge step to the left wanting to stay out of the path of those prongs. The driver said "Oh shit, the TASER" and got back in his truck - Those were his exact words.

When people understand that there will be immediate and severe consequences for their actions they are often deterred. I still believe that if we hit more people with the baton less people will be unruly.

I want a TASER.

Fights

2008-06-03T09:08:00.003-08:00

This week at work I had two situations that were interesting. The first one was a fella that gave us defensive resistance - that is he pulled his hands in to his chest and held them together making it difficult for us to handcuff him behind his back. I know the technique to break that position but another officer had the top spot on the subject and that officer opted for OC spray - No joy... at least for me. I hate OC spray; truth is, I haven't even removed the safety tab on mine because I really don't want to ever use it. I've seen it back fire and though its worked when needed I'm worried about it backfiring at a real bad time.

I'm still thinking about the second incident. It's one of those events that leads to some personal changes... I'll post about it later but for now I'll just say no one was injured but I should have hit the guy with my baton. Yes, I mean that; a proper course of action would have been to strike him with the baton.

End of the week

2008-05-19T16:52:00.001-08:00

Court

2008-05-15T19:31:00.003-08:00

I had my first case go to court this week. It was scheduled for next week but the prosecutor changed it to this week... this resulted in me getting a call from work letting me know I was suppose to be in court now (0830 hrs). Remember: I work mids, I live about an hour from the court house, its my weekend. So I called the prosecutor and politely did a "WTF?" He said something like 'Oh, I need you here for jury selection; don't worry, you'll get paid for it.' - No shit I'll get paid for it but there goes this weekends plans of finishing the fence.

I get into court just as they begin the process of jury selection. The lead prosecutor is busy looking over papers so his mentor leans over and gets me up to speed and tells me I need to be 'liked' by the jury. Time to turn on the charm, no problem. To bad the prosecutor let every one of the jurors I was getting good vibes from go and leaves almost every cop-hater up there.

Jury selection is done and I'm hoping to go home. Now the prosecutor wants to meet with me to go over the case. I meet him in his office after his lunch. I figured he'll have some questions for me and will let me know what he wants to highlight. Turns out he hasn't read much about this case at all. So I go over my report including admission I have on tape from the defendant and his co-defendant who already plead out. (Seriously, why is this case going to trial?) I highlight a couple of things the prosecutor needs to highlight and I point out a pitfall that the defense may try to argue. Its time to go home.

That evening I get a call from a buddy who was also on the case and he relays a message from the prosecutor of things I need to pick up from the main station for the case in the morning - things like the file, the audio and all the paper work that went into the arrests... things like what the prosecutor should have had before all this began! Then the prosecutor calls me to tell me what to pick up!

So in the morning I leave early and pick everything up and deliver it to the court house. I organize a few things and highlight a few others. I talk with the defense attorney and show him a few things. The prosecutor shows up and I show him a few things. Finally the prosecutor shows the defense all the damning evidence we are set to bring and they decide to plea out. In short: had the prosecutor gathered all the information earlier and turned it over to the defense in the first place I would have finished my fence this weekend. At least I'll be getting a fat paycheck this time around.

Quote

2008-05-12T23:39:00.003-08:00

I heard this quote a few weeks ago at an event... its been resonating in my head ever since then. I like it.

“If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” - Alan Simpson, former U.S. Senator

Fences

2008-05-08T20:19:00.002-08:00

Monday after work I picked up what I thought would be all of the pieces and parts for the fence I was building. Monday afternoon the weather wasn't all that great and I was too lazy since I worked so I didn't do much more. Tuesday I picked my dad up from the airport and guilted him into coming out and helping me. All my calculations were for a 10 foot lengths of rail. The hardware store sold me 8 foot lengths and I didn't notice difference until nearly one whole side of the yard was completed and I saw more sections than there should be. By the end of Tuesday I finished the west side and most of the south side of the fence. Yesterday I bought the rest of the fencing I needed to make up the difference in lengths and then I finished the south and east side of the fence solo before the Girl Who Tolerates Me came out. She helped me decide on how to do the gates so we went out for the hardware for that. This morning I finished one gate and realized I still need two more pieces of wood for the other gate since I want to make it large enough to fit my truck through. This damn fence is turning into quite the project... and I still have to do the wire mesh on the inside. Next weekend I should have the fence finished and the grass seed set.
I'm still trying to figure out how to do the mid-shift so today I took a nap but a couple of phone calls from folks not realizing my schedule kept me from getting too much sleep. Then the neighbor started with his mower for his lawn and I knew sleep was over. Tonight I shall go to work tired... luckily there should be some action to help keep me awake.

Hands

2008-05-05T22:26:00.003-08:00

I was about to comment on the comments on the 'Shooter' post from May 1st... then I realized I should share this with all two people who read this blog:

When the person first showed up I was looking at the hands, then after that scene disappeared I though about what color the person was and what they were wearing. Amazing how much this job teaches you to watch the hands. Even off duty I'm watching peoples hands... now that I think about it, the girl at the hardware store probably thought I was looking at her chest when really I was watching her hands at the register... which is a good excuse for looking at her chest.

(I pray The Girl Who Tolerates Me hasn't found this blog yet)

Mids

2008-05-05T22:16:00.003-08:00

I have to admit... I was nervous about starting on the mid-shift (11pm until 9am). The last time I did mids I had someone sitting in the passenger seat criticizing every move I made and giving me a barrage of questions.
Now I get to do it my way. And in doing it my way there is very little traffic which allows for easier travel around the city. I quickly adjusted to the schedule and got plenty of sleep during the work week. But now I'm trying to figure out what to do on the weekend. Should I stick to the same sleep schedule or jump back to the real world's schedule? I got off work at 0900 this morning and I haven't slept yet... so I've been up for about 27 hours. I figure I'll be up until about midnight (29 hours without sleep) and then rack out. I figure even if I fall back to a real world sleep schedule then I'll take a nap before going back to later this week.
For those that do/have worked mids - what is your schedule like on your weekends?

And if none of this made sense then blame the lack of sleep and abundance of beer.

Shooter

2008-05-01T08:04:00.003-08:00

I don't recall where I found this link but I recall hearing about the study a couple of months ago. Basically it is a test to see if there is a difference in reaction times in shoot/no shoot scenarios with the difference being between black people and white people. There are several backgrounds that flash by and then a person (black or white) will appear in one of several positions holding one of a couple of objects. Press the '/' key to shoot them, press the 'z' key to 'holster' - not shoot them. The first time I took the test my computer messed up the first couple of frames, then I messed up the next couple trying to learn my / from my z. Then I learned not to check my score between each shoot since it flashed by too fast. Two nights ago I took the test after a beer and it was surprising to see the difference in my timing. I figure the theory behind the test is to show that people will shoot a black person faster than a white person... This morning I dumped whitey faster than I dumped the black guys. I would be curious to see this test with women also included.

It takes a little while to load, so without further delay here it is...

Changes

2008-04-30T09:54:00.002-08:00

One: I've started adjusting my sleep schedule for the mid-shift. I managed to stay up until 4am thinking I would sleep in... I was at before 8am. It looks like the changes will need some chemical assistance (Red Bull injections for on duty and Tylenol PM to sleep).

Two: I'm a fat ass. I haven't seriously exercised since I got out of the academy. I've found my MP3 player and charged up my Forerunner. I can't let this rain make me puss out.

New Shift

2008-04-29T17:24:00.002-08:00

This past week was interesting. We got a huge dumping of snow and since most of us had already switched to summer tires we were hosed. But I spent a good portion of the day sitting on a body that had been dead for at least three days.
The next day I helped look for two knuckleheads lost in a 'baseball field with nothing nearby and the van is stuck'. Turns out the 'baseball field' was a railroad track covered in snow. The crashed through a cemetary, a fence, crossed three railroad tracks, hit and broke a railroad crossing arm, and then proceeded another half mile down the tracks before they got stuck. They were there for 1.5 hours before calling and saying they were lost. We searched every open field we could think of just to find them a stones throw from a hardware store. One kid was wearing shorts and a t-shirt (no shoes or socks, and note the huge snow fall the night before. I pulled up as this kid started running out of the van up the hill towards me. I thought he was running from the other officer. When the other officer didn't seem to concerned I walked over to my vehicle, opened the back door and the kid jumped right in like a well trained dog - He was running for the nearest warm location. Medics transported him and I transported the driver to jail for his path of destruction.
Later in the week I had a 17 YO kid who blew a .221 brac. I took him in on two warrants for Failure to Appear for Minor Consuming and gave him his third Minor Consuming. From contact with him, through the medical clearance, until I dropped him off at the kiddie jail he cussed me out.

I'm moving to mids. I hated mids during FTO so I'm a little nervous about this move. I'm sure it'll be different since I won't have someone sitting in the passenger seat but I know the sleep schedule will kick my ass for a few weeks at least. Once I get use to the schedule I'm sure I'll outlast all my friends at the bar... when they want to tap out at 3am I'll let them know the night is just beginning, laugh maniacally then run out into the street naked... or something.

The Girl Who Tolerates me begins Mids too and we'll have some of the same days off so hopefully we can see more of each other. I figure now that we'll see more of each other it'll be a good tell for our relationship in the long term.

Oh, and today I'm off probation.

Tip - To the civilians II

2008-04-22T08:56:00.002-08:00

Kojak's comment about his state's 'Move over law' got me thinking about this state's 'Give A Lane' law. I've only enforced it once or twice so far but it will be on my hit list for now on. In Alaska if a law enforcement officer has someone pulled over on the side of the road and you are approaching from behind you must yield the lane closest to the officer if you are able to do so - ie three lanes of traffic going one direction and the officer is with a person on the right shoulder, you need to move to the left two lanes.
So for now on I when I cover an officer at a traffic stop and he says I can go I'm going to hang back and wait for the first 'Give A Lane' offender... and I know a couple of officers that if I talk with them we can plan it out and just leap frog each other down the highway enforcing this one.

All to avoid this:

Tip - To the civilians

2008-04-18T19:16:00.002-08:00

When you finally see that police car behind you with all his lights and sirens on (and I'll be yelling at you from my drivers seat, not that you can hear me above your music) do not stop in the middle of the road. Move to the right... it is highly suggested in 'Laws'. Again, don't stop in the middle of the road, don't move left, don't slow way the fuck down... just move right. If I follow you to the right then stop; otherwise get the fuck out of my way because I have someone important to see. Someone important may include someone deserving of my pair of cuffs, someone injured in a collision, or another officer that wants friends with big guns to help him with the person who deserves his cuffs. MOVE TO THE RIGHT! ITS THE LAW!

Global Warming Stance II

2008-04-16T13:17:00.002-08:00

And people wonder why I'm up for Global Warming

Friends

2008-04-16T11:14:00.001-08:00

Since I've started this job friends like to send me cop pictures. For instance:

With friends like these who needs enemies?

Time Spent II

2008-04-16T10:28:00.002-08:00

After a few sips of that wine I realized it wasn't as good as beer. So I went to the post office then the store (cute cashier wasn't working) and picked up some beer. When I got home I watched ~~lesbian porn~~The L Word.

My mom will be so proud if she reads this post. /sarcasm

Time Spent

2008-04-15T20:11:00.003-08:00

I spent this afternoon cutting and hauling three truck loads of firewood and stacking it all beside my house. I'm tired and a bit sore now. So I'm debating how to spend the rest of the evening... I thought I could go to the post office and pick up my three DVDs of House from Netflix and while I'm out I could stop by the grocery store to flirt with that cute girl at the register and pick up some beer... Or I can kill the rest of the bottle of wine and watch another episode of The L Word that The Girl Who Tolerates Me left.

I'm such a pussy. Though for scale... I wear an extra large glove.

For those not familiar with The L Word: The Girl Who Tolerates Me made me watch some of it. After the pilot episode I was hooked. It's basically soft-core lesbian porn! There is some plot to it all but so what... there's naked chicks making out on almost every episode (especially the pilot)!

NSFW

2008-04-15T19:47:00.001-08:00

More Blogs

2008-04-09T20:21:00.003-08:00

There are some new people added to the sidebar.

First up is CrazyRN2be. She's working on becoming an RN (Registered Nurse?), which is better than a CNA (CardioNeuro... Apostle?). Alright, I obviously have no idea how the medical world rank structure works. I need to work on that; I plan to siphon as much knowledge from her blog as I can so I can understand the medical world in the hospital because there are some hot medical women at the hospital I occasionally get dispatched to. I don't even know if they are doctors, nurses or the janitor so I better learn something quick so I can sound at least a tiny bit intelligent.

Also up is The Quest for Valhalla. He's a soldier recently returned from Iraq who is also new to the Cop job. I found him through RMS and I think he's a cousin or something in the blog world. So check it out.

My Global Warming Stance

2008-04-09T18:25:00.002-08:00

I saw this on a bumper on the way home this morning. I liked it for two reasons... first it showed the white wash of snow was starting to die down (only for a minute though). Second, I've said many times that I'm not going to worry about Global Warming until they start growing bananas in Alaska.

Tip IV

2008-04-08T16:47:00.003-08:00

When you live in a shitty cold place that gets lots of precipitation and an email goes out that the tire shop is now open to change out your winter tires for summer ones on your patrol car, wait until the end of the tire changing period. If you are one of the first to change your tires it will snow again and then you will be fishtailing everywhere, stuck on a road not going anywhere, or completely out of control jumping a median, crossing the oncoming lane, up onto the sidewalk and then into the snow covered grass. Should this happen then pray no one is around, throw it in reverse and get the hell out of there. - I'm not saying it happened to me, but it might, so be careful.

Updates

2008-04-04T20:53:00.002-08:00

I made a few updates on the links on the right. A few went away after not updating for a while and some more were added. When I starting blogging cop stuff I was debating if I would include any of the Dispatchers' blogs under the Cops listing. I finally decided 'yes' despite the occasional frustration with them though I'm sure they have a much greater frustration with us. Dispatchers are a constant source of knowledge for me out on the street. They know about the piles of paperwork and some of the forms. Dispatch has also been a great help when I need to research a name, location or vehicle (more information than I can get at my computer). So through the day I try to share a laugh with Dispatch about the calls and I try not to yell at them through an unkeyed mic to often (and never through a keyed mic!). So I have to be nice to Dispatch, because they are the ones that allow for a break so I can go eat lunch.

Thievery

2008-04-04T20:43:00.002-08:00

I hate theft reports... I'm not sure why but I just hate them. So it's ticking me off that I've had a few of them in the last few days. Even though you know who took the stuff it is difficult to prove... so I'm suggesting a new way to regulate this issue... give the victim your baton and allow them one strike per $10 in value stolen against the thief.

Tip III

2008-03-31T19:50:00.003-08:00

Things have been busy for me in the off time. Family has been visiting so things have been a lot of fun. At work things have been weird... there has been a spree deaths and many of them are suspicious. This week I sat on two different murder scenes - so here is another tip. Don't volunteer to go to another district, then volunteer to keep an eye on the rear of the house. Because sometimes once they clear the house they might leave you out back in the cold wind. I sat back there for an hour and half, about 30 minutes longer than necessary.

Shafted

2008-03-24T21:35:00.001-08:00

Two days in a row I get shafted with end of shift DV assaults. I don't mind the overtime... but today was a little absurd. So it goes...

Too fun

2008-03-22T21:52:00.002-08:00

I've been working a fraud case. Last week I got the arrest warrants for everyone... the lowest was nine felony charges to one person, the highest was 17 felony charges. I didn't want to arrest one and have them tip off the others that I was coming so instead I called one and asked her to arrange for all three of them to meet me for some 'paperwork'. I rounded up a posse and we met up with them taking in three people for multiple felony charges! I love this job!

A sign

2008-03-19T18:09:00.000-08:00

Below is a sign we need posted around this town:

Again

2008-03-19T11:08:00.002-08:00

Remember the knucklehead from Warrants? I just picked him up again for shoplifting.

If all alcohol disappeared suddenly we wouldn't need half the cops that are on the street. If all drugs disappeared we wouldn't need a quarter of the cops on the street. Does that mean Drugs and Alcohol keep me employed?

Tip II

2008-03-12T10:23:00.002-08:00

After the academy I still wasn't sure of good methods to carry my pistol, an extra mag, cuffs and a badge off duty. Then I noticed there were several officers that worked in civilian attire (detectives) or came and went from the station in civilian attire. I saw a couple of these people would carry their cuffs with one cuff stuffed down their pants and one cuff hanging out over their belt in the small of their back. I though this would work and I tried it for a few days. I quickly learned the downfall of this method and I pass it along to you today: When you quickly saddle up to the toilet and undo you belt and drop trousers you might hear a splash behind you. Luckily for me it was at home, and I know I keep my bathroom clean.
Now, along with my paddle holster for my pistol, I have a paddle holster for one magazine and one set of cuffs.

What kind of handgun are you...

2008-03-11T13:03:00.002-08:00

I am a: Glock Model 22 in 40 cal

What kind of handgun are YOU?

I actually carry a Glock 21 on duty...

From Wyatt

Tip

2008-03-06T19:11:00.003-09:00

Here's a tip from something I learned this past week:

If you happen to drive a rear-wheel drive patrol car and you have to go up a really steep icy hill... make sure there is room up top for you to crest the hill. If you are not able to crest the hill then do not attempt the hill or else your car might start sliding backwards... without any control... at an angle... into a snowbank... getting stuck... forcing you to call for a coworker to come over and help you... forcing him to call another coworker to come laugh at you... and a civilian stopping by to offer help.
Remember: Be sure you can crest the hill.

Warrants

2008-03-01T20:04:00.005-09:00

I enjoy going after warrant arrests. I might like them because there is very little paperwork to go with them... but I think I like warrant arrests because I enjoy the chase. Some people like duck hunting; some people like deer hunting; I like people hunting - I just normally don't shoot them.

So the other day I was out looking for a particular someone who had a warrant. A family member called and told us where this guy was (not uncommon). I checked the history and his warrant was a failure to appear $300 warrant - nothing big at all. In the notes it showed something about the original charge may have been resisting so I'm thinking this one might be fun.

I get there and one other officer is already waiting. Now its two of us waiting for our third who will watch the back while we knock on the door. After a couple minutes of waiting I'm getting impatient so I walk around to the back of the complex to see if it is even possible for this guy to bail out the back. I see two windows in the back and on a quick examination only one opens and it pretty small... its an apartment complex, I should have known better.

I walked back around front and say screw it, knock. One knock, two knocks and I hear things moving inside but no answer at the door. I think to myself "Shit, he's trying it through that little window!" Right then the third officer arrives and I stick my head out a side door and tell him which windows to watch, he confirms and I turn to go back to the door and not two steps later I hear "POLICE! GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!!!" I bolted outside knowing if someone ran I'd be chaser. I round the corner just as the kid is sitting in the snow and putting his hands on his head.

Fast forward some paperwork and a ride to the jail. I'm about to walk him into the jail but I pause to have this conversation with him.
Me: "$300 warrant; why the fuck did you want to run from us?"
Knucklehead: "I got scared."
Me: "Let me explain something to you. You came stumbling out of that window and lost you balance. Your hands were flying every where while you tried to right yourself. You may by putting your hand on the ground but to us it looks like you're going for a gun. The cop that had the gun pointed at you shoots you and kills you. That shit happens all the time. An investigation is held and it is discovered you were unarmed but the cop believed you were a threat. You know what we do? We laugh at your stupid ass - Over a $300 warrant! Now do you see why it is stupid to bail out the window?"
Knucklehead: "Oh, yeah."
Me: "Alright, what are you going to do next time the Po-Po comes knockin' at your door?"
Knucklehead: "Answer it."
Me: "Right on; let's go get you checked in."

So I spent today hunting for some felons that are thought to reside on my side of town... I didn't find them so I started running every license plate I could find. I thought I had a felon and initiated a stop once some other officers showed up. Instead it was the felons son who was driving. When I told him why I stopped him he said "You know where my father is!?" hoping we could tell him. I then explained we stopped the truck because we don't know where his father is and that is why there is still an active warrant for his arrest. So I arrested the son. And impounded the truck.

Alright, I didn't just arbitrarily arrest the son... he was driving with his license revoked, that is why I arrested him. I love this job.

8 years ago

2008-02-29T18:42:00.002-09:00

8 years ago today I signed the dotted line and shipped off to MCRD San Diego. I never regretted it.

And now I no longer have base privileges. I'll have to pay full price for groceries. Bummer

back up and running

2008-02-28T10:22:00.002-09:00

I went and got my computer fixed. It was rather bad timing for the computer to crap out on me since I had just canceled my TV... I was left with just the radio, reading and a few DVDs. Its nice not having cable now. I get a lot more reading done. I've finished On Killing by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, Gang Leader for a Day by Sudhir Venkatesh and No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy.

Now I'm begging, borrowing and stealing other books until my new order for Amazon arrives.

As far as work: I still love the job but my Fridays suck. The last two Fridays I've had I've been screwing up numbers (address, phone numbers...) screwing up directions and putting my car into really bad spots. Hopefully it's all part of the leaning curve.

Gotcha

2008-02-05T11:37:00.000-09:00

This week I got my first solo-DUI. By solo I mean no longer on FTO. Day shift isn't a popular shift to get DUIs. But Sunday I set up under a bridge that put me in a shadow and I started running radar. Normally people will see me under the bridge but by then its too late and Ive got them. So when a fella traveled past me still doing 78 in a 65 I should have realized something was up. I stopped him and as soon as he turned to me and spoke I smelled it. I stopped him at 1040 am. At 1130 am he blew .145. During the interview he told me his job. He does a high-demand job in the military right now. I kind of felt bad killing his career with the DUI then I realized he was the knucklehead that earned it.

For Fat Kid

2008-01-31T19:36:00.001-09:00

This photo is for Fat Kid...

I warned Frank not to pet the polar bear.

Gettin' dead

2008-01-31T19:23:00.000-09:00

My computer is not faring well. Each day it has more errors and stalls out more. I'm looking at getting a new computer but the budget is tight. There may be a long hiatus where I'm not posting. Plus I plan on canceling my cable after the Superbowl. I'll be looking at internet service providers in town but I think I'm limited to two and I haven't enjoyed either one very much in the past year. I just plan to cancel the TV and phone and keep the cable internet. Nothing good is on TV and if there is a good show it'll be out in a few months on DVD (hence Netflix). Otherwise I waste too much time watching nothing on TV.

Locks

2008-01-22T18:18:00.001-09:00

I read about this on the internet years ago... but it really happened to me two weeks ago.

I was cut loose and doing a traffic collision report in the parking lot of a mall. I was walking back to my car after giving the drivers some paperwork and a woman nearby flagged me down. She looked distraught so I asked what was going on. She showed me her key chain and said she was locked out of her vehicle as she continued to press the 'unlock' button on her key fob. I took it from her and pressed it once to no avail. I said "Yup, looks like the battery is dead. You'll have to use your key." She said "Oh, yeah. Thanks."
I returned to my car thinking there is no way that just happened. Some people aren't even sheep; they're mice - press the button and get a piece of cheese, press the button and get a piece of cheese, press the button and don't get a piece of cheese and they freeze.

I'm a lizard

2008-01-20T19:41:00.000-09:00

I found out yesterday that I'm a lizard. Let me tell you how I found out.

I'm working a part of town and just to keep it simple we'll say one of my academy mates is Car 1. I'm car 2 and there is Car 3. Car 1 and I are assigned the same area; Car 3 is assigned a neighboring area. Its about 10am, sunny and its about 15 degrees outside.

Dispatch: Car 1, Car 3. Welfare check on at the Boss Hogg Bank on the corner of Main and First. A female is at the bus stop outside without pants on telling people she is a lizard. (You could here dispatch thinking "Did I really just say that?")

Car 1: 10-4 (laughing) and 10-7 (arrived).
Car 3: 10-4
Car 2 (me): I'm close, I'll take half.
Dispatch cancels Car 3.

I arrive and there is Car 1 talking with the lady with no pants on and only wearing sandels. "Mary, do you want to go to the hospital to get your feet checked out?"
Mary: "No, I want to go see Leo."
Car 1: "Ok, give me your ID and Leo's number and I'll call him."
She does.
Me: "Mary, lets go to my car where its warm."
Mary: "But I'm a lizard and lizards like it cold since they are cold blooded animals. How are my lizard babies?"
Car 1: "Mary, let's go to the hospital so they can check your feet; all lizards go to the hospital get their feet checked." (Damn dude, you are smooth)
Me: "Well, lets get over into the car and we'll find out."
I convince Mary to get into the car with cuffs on after I searched her jacket (at least she had a long jacket on.) Once Mary can't see my face anymore I look to Car 1 and start laughing. He holds it as well as he can since Mary can see him.
He called the number and there was no Leo present. A no-shit decision is made that I'm driving her to the Hospital Psych ER. In route Mary and I have a long discussion... well about 10 minutes long.
Me: "Mary, how are you doing back there?"
Mary: "I'm fine. Did you know I'm a whale?"
Me: "You're a whale? I thought you were a lizard?"
Mary: "No, I'm a whale."
Me: "What kind of whale?"
Mary: "I'm a beluga whale."
Me: "Right on. Do you know what I am?"
Mary: "I don't know, let me see what color your skin is." She can see the back of my head but I raise my hand so she can see. "You're a lizard. I can tell by your green skin."
Me: "Right on, but what type?"
Mary: "I don't know, but you're a nice lizard."
Me: "Thanks Mary, and you're a nice whale."

And so it went until I was finally able to drop her off at the hospital. It had been a couple of weeks since I had dropped anyone off at the Psych ER but then I broke from writing that one up and responded to a Disturbance with a gun and ended up taking that guy back to the Psych ER since he was suicidal. Two people in less than an hour and the staff told me I was over my daily limit.

The day before though I had a glass eater. Well, glass/razor/battery/anything bad for you... eater. Turns out she was just mental and ended up going to the Hospital Psych too but I didn't transport that one. How the hell does one eat glass and razors?

Never

2008-01-15T20:59:00.000-09:00

In this job there is never a good naked.

Court

2008-01-10T11:21:00.000-09:00

I said this was coming two days ago but my computer is on the edge of death. Plus no one reads this so it doesn't matter.
I had been home for only a few minutes after a shift when a prosecutor calls me in reference to a case where I'm going to traffic court in the morning. The traffic court portion is a small part of a much larger criminal case against a knucklehead. Turns out knucklehead didn't show up for trial call so now there's a bench warrant for his arrest. The prosecutor gave me a heads up that there is a warrant for knucklehead's arrest but the warrants take a day or two to get into the system so I may have to do some leg work to find it.
In the morning on my drive into work traffic is slower than normal so I make a few phone calls to find the warrant and have it entered into the system just in case knucklehead shows up to traffic court.
About ten minutes late for court he shows up with his mom. "Your Honor, blah blah blah, continuation, blah blah blah, arrest warrant, blah blah blah."
So the knucklehead didn't want to show up for his criminal trial call, but he shows up for traffic court. He went to jail, I went to lunch with my Dad. I love this job.

First Week

2008-01-07T21:37:00.000-09:00

I have completed my first week solo. Nothing terribly exciting happened; in fact, it was a slow week. But damn it is great to ride around without the FTO in the other seat. Plus I have a place to put some of my crap.
All I can really say is Holy Shit I love this job. Yeah, its probably that naive new guy excitement about the new job but I'm going to let this excitement continue as long as possible.
Tomorrow might get real interesting... Hopefully it'll develop into a good story.

Surprise

2007-12-30T22:25:00.000-09:00

I came home this evening and saw a car in my driveway. As I got closer I saw it was a police car and then I realized it was my police car in my driveway - I was happy.
I just came into my office where I normally see the tail end of my truck in the driveway; this time I also saw a police car in my driveway and I had to laugh.
I can't believe I'm where I am right now: I'm 27 years old, I have four years of the Marine Corps under my belt, I have a degree from Penn State, I have a house, I have a truck, I have a dog and I have my police car in the driveway. I carry a badge, gun and cuffs everywhere I go now. It's such a strange trip to see where my life has gone. All the moves I've made and here I am.

Life is a trip.

Finished... sort of

2007-12-30T09:11:00.001-09:00

I made it. I'm finally off FTO and on to being a real cop. As of 1700 hrs yesterday I'm allowed to carry my badge, gun and cuffs off duty and all the displeasure that goes with that. And, probably the best part for day-to-day stuff: I get to drive my patrol car home! With my truck I spend about $75 a week on gas just going to and from work: Now I can drive my patrol car to and from work. Granted I'll have to stop on things now like accidents, really bad drivers, vehicles disabled on the road or stuck in the ditch... but it'll be worth it!

I have another long weekend to get into my own schedule for the new year so my first day of running solo will be this Friday (five day weekend!!!)

Over this long weekend I hope to study some more... it's amazing how much there is to know for this job. As a kid you think all cops do is ride around really fast and catch bad guys... and in essence that is the job; but there is so much more detail that the details are endless.

So it'll be studying for me and I need to get my car set up now that I don't have someone in the passenger seat with me. And while the details are endless so is the list of things to buy: I need to get a cuff case/magazine pouch for off duty and another holster... the holster I have for off duty works as long as I'm wearing a heavy coat... I need something for summer and times when I take the coat off. Then I also need to buy an organizer for the passenger seat and I'm sure I'll think of a few other things before long...

When I get back to work Friday I already have a mission. Last week I took an assault report and I worked it through to a felony arrest warrant. We tried picking the suspect up but she's a nut job and wouldn't answer the door (if she was home) so next week I'll be trying to hunt her down and take her in. It'll be cool if I can do the case from start to finish, catch it and clean it!

It's been a strange trip this past year but it is awesome!

Days

2007-12-24T12:41:00.001-09:00

I'm finally back to the day shift. It's a different world from the night shift... not everyone is drunk/high/pissed off. But one week down and hopefully only one more week to go and I'll be out running around solo.

Boring weeked

2007-12-18T17:19:00.000-09:00

I got off work last Wednesday at 11am. I'll be returning to work tomorrow (Wednesday) at 7am. It's been a long weekend and I feel I didn't get much done... but I did.

Dad came over and helped put up some shelves in the garage. I then cleaned the garage. Then I cleaned the house up really well just to have it ruined when my dog got into the trash in the kitchen and carried it throughout the house. I did some cooking and perfected a recipe for chicken wings. Strangely and not related to each other, my relationship with the girl that tolerates me got weaker and a new friendship got stronger. And I did most of my Christmas shopping and mailed everything off.

Oh, and the movie Superbad... I laughed my ass off the whole movie both times I watched it. It's not a movie for my parents but otherwise it is the funniest movie of the year. For instance: Kids are having a party at a house and the cops show up at the door; before the kids could say anything the cop waves his hands and says "Oh no, it's the cops!" The cops enter the house pointing their guns everywhere and one says "I assume you all have guns and crack!" Once the kids clear the living room one of the cops grabs a beer and starts dancing.

And the good news...

2007-12-13T00:19:00.000-09:00

I forgot to post the good news: The extension I had on FTO staid at three days. Today I was recommended to go on to final phase! I finally get to return to the land of the living and enjoy the little daylight we get these days! And with the way this past FTO's days off work and my next FTO's days off I get a six day weekend! Now I can get a bunch of stuff around the house done.

Small world

2007-12-12T23:30:00.000-09:00

Two days ago at work it was getting close to the end of shift when another officer was dispatched to a report of burglary with no suspect info. If the call was in my area then I would automatically get it; if the call was in my sector I would take it for the training from the area officer. The call wasn't in my area, not even my sector so I didn't plan on taking it but my FTO said to take it. I get there and some things around the house are broken... nothing is missing. I asked her if she knew who might do this. She said she couldn't think of anyone; but her ex is known to associate with some people that may be pissed at him and his truck is in her driveway. I asked who the ex is and she gives my a name I recognized; I just couldn't remember from where I recognized it. So today I'm thumbing through an old notepad of mine and I see his name - low and behold I was hunting for him after he rolled a vehicle and ran away and left his passenger with their head smashed between the roof of the vehicle and ground. Yeah, I think some people might be pissed at him. By the way, after we stopped by each of his family members houses every couple of hours looking for him they finally convinced him to come back to town and turn himself in.

This morning same thing- assault report at a hospital that isn't in my sector but the FTO says to go take it. No prob, its better than traffic. I arrive at the hospital and I'm directed to a room where the victim is and I see she got worked over pretty good. I get her name and immediately recognize the name. She is a burglary suspect in a case I had a couple of months ago; but I figured she probably wasn't in the mood to talk about a burglary so I stuck to the assault. When I get to work next week I'll spend some time trying to hunt down the suspects... no names, descriptions only. I know the victim has history but maybe she really is trying to clean up her life so I want to get these guys.

Catching Up

2007-12-08T00:32:00.000-09:00

Earlier today I called Fat Kid. We talked for about forty-five minutes. It was nice talking with her since I haven't heard from her in about a year. She's moved away from State College and is working at a hospital now. I'm glad for her, it sounds like she is having fun.
Strange though... I don't keep in touch with very many old friends... but she is one of them. She's a complete liberal but she is fun as hell to hang out with.
I hope I get a chance to see her again in the future.

Picture update

2007-12-08T00:18:00.000-09:00

Some friends wanted some updated pictures... so here we go.

I mounted my TV above the fireplace that divides the living room and dining room.

Here is the kitchen to my house.

Bailey, my dog. She is a Border Collie/German Shepard/Husky/Sharptoothed/hyperactive mix. And she eats fish food.

I would add more pics but my house is still rather plain. I'm slowly working on getting pictures to hang but other things are a priority now.

Being Polite

2007-12-06T16:02:00.000-09:00

In the military I often had to work with other units. Sometimes I was the one doing the work for them - fixing something of theirs. Sometimes they were the ones doing something for me - making or giving me something for my job. I learned there are two ways to get things done when relying on other people. You can be polite with them even when they have to do it or you can be a jackass with them because you can. Everyone knows ways to make the job slower or bare-minimum when the requestor/demandor is being a jackass so I always chose the polite route. I still continue the polite route, even with people I've arrested. "Sir, I'm arresting you for such and such, please turn around and put your hands behind you back. Thank you sir." But I've learned on this job I have to be more of an ass sometimes, and I'm slowly learning how to do that.
This last week we had a winner under arrest for DUI and two hit and runs. One of the hit and runs was on a patrol car. I arrived a little late to the party; someone had already cuffed him and put him in the back of a patrol car. I arrived right after he slipped the cuffs and in his desire not to be cuffed again he was kindly placed face down on the ground, cuffed and then introduced to leg irons. Probably because I was the FNG on the scene I had the (dis)pleasure of taking him. I start off polite: "Sir, let's head over to my patrol car over here." Walk/waddle with the leg irons. "Alright, go ahead and have a seat here, watch your head getting in." I always place my hand near the back of their head so they don't hit it too hard on the edge patrol car getting in. He looks at me and doesn't move. His back is already to the open door so simply holding his head with the right hand and pushing his stomach with the left normally folds them enough they begin the sitting process. It works.
Some witnesses show up to ID the guy. "Sir, please step out the patrol car" as I hold the door open. He, not so politely responds, "F*&K YOU!". Becoming the demandor instead of requestor "SIR, Get out of the car!" Same response from him. I used the chance to learn just how well the leg irons make a great handle for dragging someone. I got him to the edge of the seat, grabbed his shirt with both hands and yanked him out. He slipped on the ice but I held him up so he didn't hit the ground... too hard. After that little lesson in that I will get my way he still hated me and said the same things but he did what I wanted.

So the week went from dealing with 29 year old drunk/high punks to dealing with a 50 year old couple that were bickering. This guy called police because his wife wouldn't leave him alone. They were both drunk and he wanted to sleep because he had court in the morning. The other officer told each of them to leave each other alone and go to bed. Twenty minutes later I get called back. This time I wasn't so nice. Pointing at the husband: "I know you have court tomorrow and you don't want to go to jail tonight" Pointing at the wife: "I know you don't want to go to jail because it sucks there." Back to the husband: "Go to your bedroom, lock the door and go to bed." Back to the wife, "Go to the other room and go to sleep, its almost 2am, its too late for this crap."
Husbands response, "The door doesn't lock." (whine)
Me, "You have a chair? Wedge the door shut, put a book case in front of the door I don't care; keep the door closed. You (wife) go to your room. You (husband) go to your room. I'll shut the door on the way out, now go!. "
So now I have to play referee for a married couple that is nearly twice my age. WTF?

Movies

2007-12-01T01:13:00.000-09:00

The girl that tolerates me and I went to see Fred Clause today. It wasn't that good; it was predictable. Also, Vince Vaughn always plays the same character... some fast talking slacker who wiggles his way out of responsibility and screws people over. He was funny in Wedding Crashers but after that I was tired of him.
You could tell we were new in town: The theater has two doors, one facing north one facing south, both lead to the same hallway with one door in the middle leading to the ticket booth. We entered through the south door and saw the line went from the middle door to the north door. Girl that tolerates me and I got evil looks from everyone since we 'cut' in line. The people who let us in line were kind enough to explain the system to us and how to avoid having the local town folks chase us out of town with pitchforks.
Afterwards we went to the local Mexican Restaurant. I laughed, and got an evil look from the girl that tolerates me, at the fact the minorities in this town have to combine manpower to run one 'ethnic' restaurant. The staff at the Mexican restaurant were a few Mexican's, but mostly a mix of different Asians. I'll have to try the one Chinese restaurant and see how the staffing is there. I thought Pennsylvania was really white... I think this town has even less diversity.

I'm back

2007-11-29T18:13:00.000-09:00

Due to overwhelming demand I have decided to return... Ok, so only two people noticed I was gone.

Where the hell have I been this past year?
I've moved. I bought a house. I have my dog. I have a girlfriend that tolerates me. I have a job... at least for now.

I think I explained this before: I want to be a Fed. But the agency I want to work for wasn't hiring so I signed on with the city police. So my last post I was working as parking enforcement downtown until the academy. I'm through the academy now.
About the academy: OC spray sucked, Taser sucked, Defensive Tactics sucked, the long boring lectures sucked. I met my girlfriend.
Work: I'm in Field Training now. Things were going really well the first two phases... I was excited to get to work each day. I loved going after bad guys. Third phase has sucked... mids is a whole new beast. My FTO on mids has a reputation... and while it wasn't as bad as reported life still sucked. I learned a lot from him... but life's a bitch right now. The powers that be have decided to put me with someone else for two weeks on mid-shift and if I get my shit together I can move on to final phase. I'm really hoping I can regain my enthusiasm's for the job in the next two weeks.
Most exciting bits about the three months so far on FTO? It turns out dead bodies don't bother me. I liked chasing a bad guy down on foot; I was catching up to him and too bad he got smart and laid down before I caught him. I love driving code (lights and sirens).

House: I decided to quit renting all the time and I finally bought a place of my own. I looked in the city I grew up in and now work in but everything I was interested in cost too much so I began looking outside of the city. I ended up having a house built on a nice size lot in a nice little town. The commute sucks, especially since I don't get good radio reception here so I end up listening to talk radio or I get the books on CD and do some 'reading' during my commute. It a decent little house set up just the way I want it. As I told my folks the house has three bedrooms and two baths in case I accidentally have a family.

Alright, enough for now. Hopefully I'll be back to posting regularly and hopefully I'll have some exciting stories about capturing bad guys and the sort.

I love my job

2006-12-04T19:29:00.000-09:00

Today started off to be just another slow day of writing tickets. After lunch I got back out on the streets and walked a few blocks when an interesting call came out on the radio. Then I noticed that the action was heading my direction. In the end I got to help out with a big arrest… a bit of wrestling around and knocking a weapon out of his hand we eventually got him in cuffs. I fricken’ love my job… they actually pay me for this!

Recruit Quote

2006-11-29T08:17:00.000-09:00

Last night I found myself watching “Making the Corps” on the military channel (face it, there is nothing good on network TV) and I heard a great quote from one of the recruits. He was talking about not knowing what time it is since none of the recruits had a watch. “Once its dark we know it’s getting close to time to sleep; then when it’s dark we know it’s about time to wake up.”

Damn, why did I ever get out?

Bliss

2006-11-27T22:30:00.000-09:00

What a night... I don’t even care that a crap load of water leaked through my ceiling and into the kitchen.

A beautiful woman invited me over for dinner and I have a new 42” Plasma that will be ready for pick-up next week. Soaked kitchen… so what?

Somebody’s getting retarded…

2006-11-24T11:30:00.000-09:00

…in this household and my roommate is gone. I guess that leaves me.

Multi-point post

- I’m not someone that rushes out for the combat-shopping on black Friday – In fact I don’t think I’ve ever shopped on Black Friday; but yesterday I got it in my mind that I wanted to get a flat-panel TV. I woke up at a nice and early 4am. As I was waiting to pull onto the main street traffic was block for me by a large moose crossing the road. Despite the defense working for me I didn’t get to Best Buy in time. I pulled in at 4:30 and already the line stretched the length of the mall… granted this is an Alaska mall but it is still a large mall. I’m guessing that some of the people were lined-up from the night before. As soon as I saw the line I just laughed and drove away, returned home and went back to sleep.

- I love driving in Alaska. After I dropped off my roommate at the airport last night I was driving away. Because it has been so cold for the past few weeks any moisture in the air immediately falls to the ground and freezes. So all of the moisture that comes out of vehicles’ exhaust can accumulate and make the roads very slick. So last night I was taking one of those on ramps where you have to go right to go left on the highway… mid-way through the ramp I began to feel the truck getting away from me… some careful maneuvering and I got it back under control but I saw a couple of places on the sides of the road where people couldn’t recover. I love how you can slide around corners… the road has a whole different ‘feel’ to it when you drive in the winter. Oh, and once I got home I got a call from the friend… just a heads up for everyone out there – if you have condoms in the foil wrappers they will set off the metal detectors at security.

- When the hell is it going to warm up? I work outside all day and this negative temperature thing is starting to suck… a lot.

- The final point I’ve decided against. But some longer term readers (if there are any) and a few friends may understand this… I’m getting stupid retarded again. I hate this feeling.

Happy Birthday

2006-11-10T08:08:00.000-09:00

This is an old picture… just add three years to the cake and it’s all good.

Happy Birthday Marines,

Semper Fi

Moose, reindeer and tickets, oh my!

2006-11-08T21:31:00.000-09:00

I moved over the weekend and I still don’t have internet at the new place… yes, I’m nearly tweaking… So right now I’m over at the parents place doing some house sitting (i.e. raiding the fridge and cabinets of all their food).

I like my new place in town… it’s only an 8 minute walk to work each day which also means it’s only a couple more minutes for me to stumble home from any bars. Saturday afternoon as I was stepping out the front door I saw a large bull moose walking through Delany Park Strip. Then as I went around the corner and realized I live about a block away from Star the Reindeer… yup… I live next to a Reindeer.

Today I was walking around and passed by town square... I wrote a few tickets and moved on. Later some dude spoke to me about someone lying down in town square; being that it was about 5 degrees outside then I figured I would go check it out. Low and behold I find the bull moose that was roaming by my place just laying around in town square. I was writing tickets about 30 feet from this bull moose and I didn’t even realize it.

Moose, reindeer, a new apartment and a bunch of tickets… this has been my life of late.

Cleaning up

2006-10-29T19:31:00.000-09:00

I also cleaned up some of the links to the right. Some links I deleted because they were dead, some I just never read anymore (nothing against them… I just didn’t).
Two new blogs were added though – Support your Local Gunfighter is a cop (Detective) from Philly. Also added to the list is Trishie of ‘Running and Me’. She just finished the Marine Corps Marathon so stop by and congratulate her.

First snow

2006-10-29T19:13:00.000-09:00

First snow and the town looses it’s mind. It’s amazing how much people can drive like ass. I understand it is snowing hard and normally we lose a lane in the highway… but there is no reason for you to be driving your new Range Rover in the fast lane with your hazards on doing 35mph.
Simple rules for driving in the snow:
1) Don’t make any sudden moves… don’t suddenly turn, don’t suddenly slam on the brakes, don’t suddenly hit the gas… do it all nice and easy.
2) Leave plenty of room between you and the car in front – even at stop lights…
a. Watch that person approaching behind you… you may have to move forward in your spot and give him some extra stopping room.
3) Before moving into an intersection watch the approaching vehicle’s tires… if the tires are stopped but the vehicle is still moving forward then wait… let them slide on through.
4) If you are approaching the vehicle in front of you faster than you intended then use the pile of snow to slow you down… drag a tire into it… but be ready to counter-stear the pulling effect.

It’s easy… just don’t be stupid.

It still hurts…

2006-10-24T20:58:00.000-08:00

Today was OC spray day.

Because of the way it was set up one person had to get sprayed by two people at once. Of course the class retard volunteered to get doubled up on… one of those shots went straight into my eye. Thirty-seconds of fending off an attacker, a quick report of who and where I was and I was able to hit the shower in an attempt to get relief. To bad the water ran the OC down my shorts. After some time in the shower I was moved outside into the fresh air… too bad it was 35 degrees out there. My skin was burning but my core was getting really cold. From there it went through peeks and valleys of relief… as soon as things started to feel better it would suddenly flare up again. I ended up taking a nap in the Jeep while I waited for my folks to pick me up since I couldn’t drive. During the nap I got OC/tear crusties around the edges of my eye so I could hardly open them when my folks showed up.
Once home I jumped back into the shower which helped wash out my eyes some more but it made my skin burn even more… from my ears to my calves.

Most of the burning is gone by now… it’s just my eyes that hurt… I can’t keep them open for more than 1.5 seconds.

At least it’ll be a couple of months before I have to do this again.

Week One

2006-10-22T19:43:00.000-08:00

The week was rather boring – most of it was just paperwork and getting familiar with some of the buildings. We did some ‘on the street’ training. This week should be a little more exciting since we get some hand-to-hand training and we get pepper sprayed. I’ll see if I can get my hands on a video camera for the pepper spray training.

Thursday we are suppose to get sworn in for our limited duties.

Now all I have to do is get my friends to stop announcing to everyone in the bar that I’m 5-O.

Day 1

2006-10-16T20:46:00.000-08:00

First day down… paperwork the whole day. Tomorrow we start some training but there will still be a lot of paperwork to complete before we get to the good stuff (read baton training, maced, defensive tactics…).

Here is what I bought a week ago:

Starting

2006-10-16T06:49:00.000-08:00

Today my 4-0 work starts… I can’t wait to get into it.

Also, this evening I hope to post a picture of my latest purchase.

I cried

2006-10-01T17:41:00.000-08:00

A lot.

I laughed so hard I cried watching this.

5-O to be...

2006-09-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

…to be, so maybe I’m just a 4-O now.

Some good news has come in this week – some really good news. Yesterday I was able to put in my two week notice at my accidental employment. It was rather amusing since I spent the last two days learning how to do job estimates and bids; after I completed my first bid one of the managers said “You two (my boss and myself) are going to be the core of expanding this department.” A few minutes later I was in my bosses office telling him that I got a call yesterday and that this was my two week notice.

In two weeks I will start working for a local police department. Until the academy starts I will be doing clerical work and parking tickets but I get the full time pay and all the benefits. An additional benefit will be that I get to carry a radio so I’ll be hearing the traffic and learning how it all works which will give me a leg up in the academy.

Tonight I’ll be going on my first ride-along. I hope it gets a little exciting and is not just the boring paper work that I know a lot of cop work is.

Tuesday I’ll be going into Supply to get measured and I think they’ll be issuing me some gear.

Then on the 16th I’ll be reporting in to begin training!

The latest

2006-09-19T23:05:00.000-08:00

Big news today – it’s all unofficial but it looks like I passed the polygraph. I’m not sure why I was so damn nervous about it but I was…
Now that all the hurdles have been jumped I just have to wait for all the results and it looks like I’ll be joining the local police soon.
At first I didn’t plan on taking the position but with the way things are turning out (plus the good pay) its looking like the smart thing to do. Unfortunately (as long as I make it) the academy doesn’t start for a few months. Today though I was asked if I would be interested in a position doing small jobs for the police before the academy (read: writing parking tickets). It has the benefits (pay, health, etc...) plus I’ll have the radio and be around the officers more so I can hear the lingo and get use to the procedures before I start the academy.
So nothing is official yet but it looks like I’m set to start with the local police.